Thursday, December 16, 2010

The Beginning...

Everyone has a beginning, a place their life starts, or their story starts.  My beginning was 35 years ago (wow!) to a sweet, loving Moma.  I guess I should mention I had a father too, (doesn't everyone?), but he died when I was very young.  I don't remember anything about him.  I did have a wonderful stepfather, who was my Daddy in every sense of the word, but that's another story entirely.  Anyways, back to my moma.

Her name was Clara Elizabeth, but everyone knew her as Betty, or Moma, or Granny.  Her eyes were blue and her hair was blonde, or black, and maybe once even purple. She was a very hard worker, very independent.  She was kinda strict with me, though I really didn't give her much trouble.  She somehow knew what I was going to do before I even did it, so that put a damper on any secret plans I had. 

Moma took me to church when I was little, and if she didn't take me, I would ride the church bus that came by my house.  I remember going alone when I was probably 6 or 7 years old.  Even at that young age, I knew there was something bigger out there, a God that had made the whole world around me.  I can remember one day I was outside playing and there was sunbeams streaming down from the sky through some clouds.  I thought it was Jesus returning, because I had seen a picture in my bible of sunbeams with Jesus in the middle of them.  I ran in the house to my Moma, all excited.  She assured me that probably wasn't happening right then, but she came outside with me anyway. 

The first lesson I can remember my mother teaching me about the Lord was that you don't question his plans, or his motives.  It was all cut and dry with her.  God does what He does, and we are to just be grateful He gave us our lives, and try to live like He would have us live.  To me, even now, it's having a "child-like faith".  Faith that says I don't know why, or how, or when, but I know WHO!  I know that there's a heavenly Father looking out for me, who loves me more than I can even imagine, and He knows all my crap!  We all have crap.  It makes us do things all wrong, or think things all wrong, or say things all wrong.  But at the end of the day, you can say, I'm sorry, Lord.  Forgive me for today, and go ahead and forgive me for tomorrow, too, cause I'll probably mess up again.  And that's ok.  Just like you forgive your kids, everyday, God forgives us everyday.  And He keeps on loving us everyday, even when we don't even love ourselves. 

"I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." Luke 18:17

Friday, December 10, 2010's why.

Hello, all.  Thanks for stopping by and sharing a part of your day with me.  I hope everyone can get a little something out of reading this, whether it be a smile, or a laugh, or a tug at your heart.  I've been inspired to start writing by some of the blogs I've been reading, and I've caught myself either laughing like a hyena, or silently sitting with tears streaming.  Life is crazy, ya'll.  It's hard and frustrating and beautiful and fragile.  And it's so hard to get it all right, though so many of us want to.  I think, for me anyways, it's trying even when you'd rather just go to bed with a good book and a cup of coffee.  This is my life.

I have 3 sons.  Yep, 3.  Wild and wonderful boys.  My oldest is 13. He's officially an alien.  I don't know what happened to the sweet, chubby little boy who is now lost in a 5'10" frame.  He's a funny, charming, witty guy and he makes me laugh everyday.  Sometimes with him, sometimes at him.  Hey, I'm not perfect.

My middle child is 9.  He is his mother's son.  Bless him.  I'd call him a nerd but he doesn't like that term like I do.  He's very intelligent and is the strongest kid I know.  He is an old soul, and a worrier like me.  And when he holds my hand, it touches my heart.

My sweet baby is 6.  Not a baby, I know, but mine none the less. Adorable, precious boy who still thinks I know everything.  He told me that recently:).  Now if only I can keep the oldest one from convincing him otherwise, I'd have it made.  To hear him laugh is the best sound I know.

These guys make me, me.  They also make me crazy, as I'm sure you will come to realize if you stick around any length of time.  Children are blessings from God.  Which is why I pray everyday to Him to help me out, and sometimes to ask, Really? Boys? 3 of em?  OK.  Believe it or not, folks, He knows what He's doing.  I'm not going to claim I have all the answers, or I know a lot about religion.  I will tell you, though, I have FAITH.   A strong faith that no matter what comes my way, if I can't handle it, God will.  I just have to give it to Him.  And I do, quite often.  That's what I most hope everyone who reads this will take from it.  You may feel like you're all alone in this world, but you're not.  You may think there's no hope, but there is.  You may think you're the worst parent, worst partner, worst friend, but you know what?  We all have those days.   God puts you right where you need to be.  He gives you exactly what you are meant to have.  When you have days you are questioning yourself, and worrying, just give your cares to Him.  He can handle them all. 

1 Peter 5:7  Let Him have all your worries and cares, for He is always thinking about you and watching everything that concerns you.

Now before you say to yourself, well she doesn't know my pain, or my hurt, let me're right, I don't.  But I know hurt, and pain, and how it feels to lose all hope.  I've had things happen in my life that have made me say WHY?  What good can possibly come now?  What happiness can be found now?   But here I am, saying it can.  Not without trying, though.  Not without telling yourself, OK, I can do this, and doing it.  Not without saying, OK God, I can't do this, but Lord, YOU CAN.  And then letting Him do it.  For me to live my life without the presence of the Lord, to go through this life thinking there's nothing more than this time on Earth, that's hopelessness to me.  To not have this faith, this hope of heaven, this knowing in my soul that Jesus is coming back for me someday, I would be a sad, sad person. 

If you are in that place now, wondering what's going to happen, how are you ever going to be happy again, smile again...what do you have to lose to just try what I'm telling you?  Maybe you'll be surprised how easy it is, to let someone else handle all your stuff, all your cares, and just let that someone be your heavenly Father.  Just try.